Wednesday, February 26, 2014

"God Got Me Through It" ~ Short Story

Ok guys...here is a new post!! FINALLY!! I am going to admit that I kind of forgot about my blog for a little bit there...but now here is a new story that I wrote for you all to enjoy and critique me on!! Thanks so much!! <3



                                                                God Got Me Through It


I was just 8 years old when my life got turned upside down. I was living in a nice little home out in the country in Cheston, Tennessee. I had lived there with my mom, my dad, and my four year old sister, Courtney. We had a dog named Bear and two cats, one named Cookie and the other named Chip. I absolutely loved my home and loved my life, but on September 23, 1993, everything came to a screeching halt and my life was forever changed.

I got up for school that morning just like any other day, and I ate breakfast, got dressed, gave my mom a kiss, and left to walk to the bus stop at the end of the road like I did every day. Normally, I walked down with my neighbor, who was my best friend, Anna, but she was sick that day, so I was by myself. As I walked, my mom passed me in her car on her way to work and I smiled and waved at her. That would be the last time I would see my mom for twelve years.

When I got to my bus stop, I took off my back pack and sat down on the grass and waited. I sat there a long time, and I remember being afraid that I missed the bus. Then, a black car pulled up a long side the road right next to me and the window rolled down, revealing a man with dark hair and slightly tan skin. He asked me if I was alright and if I needed anything, I then made the mistake of getting up and walking to his window. I told him I was waiting for the bus and began to ask him if he had seen it, when his arm shot out of the car, and he hit me with a funny looking tool that made me feel numb throughout my whole body. I remember seeing his face very briefly, he was smiling a very scary smile, and then I blacked out and lost consciousness.

 

September, 23, 1993 started out as a normal day of being a detective at the Cheston Police Department. I went in that morning grabbed my cup of coffee and sat at my desk to work on paper work. No new cases had come in, and I thought it was just going to be another boring day doing paper work and no real police work. Little did I know that I was about to get a call that would be my police work for the next twelve years.

At about eight o’clock in the morning a call had come in from a bus driver who was concerned that one of his pick-ups was not at the bus stop, but the back pack was. Itching to leave my desk, I volunteered to take the call with my partner, Lewis. We grabbed our stuff, hopped in the car and drove down to Preston Road, where the bus driver remained at the stop, waiting for us.

When we arrived, there was, indeed, a small pink back pack lying on the side of the road with no owner. We first approached the bus driver, and asked him if he had the information of the children who were supposed to be picked up at the stop. He showed us the names, and there were only two little girls on the list. The first one was Anna Courtland, so we called her home and learned right away that she was home sick. The second name on the list was Rebecca Jenson, and since Anna was home, we figured the back pack must belong to Rebecca. But just to be certain, I pulled on a pair of gloves and opened the back pack to go through its contents. Sure enough, little Rebecca’s name was written on every piece of paper inside the back pack. The next step was to try and get ahold of her parents. We first called the home number that was on the bus driver’s information sheet. A man answered, and I asked him if he was Mr. Jenson and if he had a daughter named Rebecca. He responded “yes” with a very confused tone, and then came the gut wrenching task of telling him who I was and why I was calling. The man was in disbelief and I told him to come to the bus stop so we could talk. After we hung up, I had Lewis call down to the station to report a missing child and to get back-up down there right away.

After just a few short minutes, Mr. Jenson approached, holding his other daughter. When I approached him, I told him that name was Detective Kevin Carlysle and asked him, “Sir, did your daughter go to the bus stop this morning?” “Yes, she should already be on the bus.” “Sir, the bus driver was running late and when he got to the stop, all he saw was this back pack” and when I showed him the back pack, all the color drained from his face and I knew then, it was his daughters back pack.

He right away began telling me that little eight-year-old Rebecca, who also responded to Becky, would never wonder off and leave the bus stop. He also pulled out a picture from his wallet of Becky and handed it to me. There I saw a beautiful little girl with brown, curly hair, and brown eyes, and my heart began to melt at the thought of what could be happening to that little girl right at that moment.

 

When I came to, I had a burlap sack over my head and I could just barely see through it. I was lying on the floor of the car, and my hands and feet were tied together. The only thing I remember feeling, was fear. I was so afraid; all I could do was cry and shake. The man then yelled at me to be quiet and told me he was going to take me to a new home with him and he told me we would be happy together. I was so paralyzed with fear; I couldn’t even talk to him. All I could do was cry, and hope that someone would come to my rescue.

 

It wasn’t long before we had officers blocking the scene, so we could search it for any sign of little Becky. I remained with the father, asking him questions that would help us out. “What was Becky wearing today?” “S-S-She was wearing a p-p-pink shirt with kittens on it and s-s-some blue jeans and pink t-t-tennis shoes” he responded, very shakily. “I know it is difficult Mr. Jenson but every detail helps us, now, is there anyone that would want to hurt Becky, or have you seen anyone suspicious hanging around your family at all?” I asked as calmly as I could, “No! Everything has been perfectly normal and everyone loves Becky!” Mr. Jenson responded, breaking into sobs and begging for us to find his daughter.

Just then, Lewis came up to me and informed me that the only sent the dogs could pick up from Becky was near where the back pack was. He also told me that Becky’s mother had arrived. Mrs. Jenson ran straight for her husband and I knew right when her husband told her that her little girl was missing, and it only got worse when I had to tell them that because the dogs couldn’t pick up a scent, meant Becky had been abducted.

The parents both just held each other and sobbed, and I decided it would be best to just give them a few minutes and start looking for any leads that could help us in the search for Becky. On top of that, Lewis and I had to give a full report to the media so we could get people on the lookout and get an Amber Alert out there, too. We gave the media everything we knew about Becky and gave them a number for people to call if they had seen her or knew any information that would help. The only other thing we could do after that was continue the search, keep talking to her parents, and wait for any leads.

 

The car ride was very long, and the man remained very quiet and didn’t say a word. Finally, the car came to a stop and the man got out. I heard the door open, and the man picked me up and carried me. He kept the bag over my head so I couldn’t see anything and I had no idea where I was. He opened and closed, what I know now, was a gate to his backyard and then I heard him open and close the door to the place where he kept me. I know now that he kept me in the shed in his backyard, but I didn’t know that at the time. He then laid me down on a bed and took the bag off of my head.

After my eyes adjusted to the light in the shed, I got my first look at my captors face. He was very well-groomed, and put together, and clean. He looked like your average businessman, and I remember that he reminded of a boss at my mom’s work. He smiled at me, and then spoke to me, “welcome to your new home, you can call me Darian. This is where you will stay, and I will take care of you, and we will be best friends.” He spoke to me in a very friendly tone, so I responded, “my name is Becky” but before I could say anything else he yelled and told me I was never to say that name again, and that I was to now call myself, Tessa. I nodded and began to cry more. Darian ignored my crying and untied my hands and feet and put a device around my ankle that would shock me if I got too close to the door, which he always kept locked.

 After he untied me he told me everything would be okay and that he would take good care of me, then he left, and I was alone. I looked around the shed, there wasn’t a lot, there was just a bed, a dresser, a toy box with some toys in it, and a small refrigerator that had several large water bottles filled with water. There was also a small table with a single drawer that held the lamp that lit up the shed. Inside the drawer, I discovered a large notebook and a package of pens. That notebook became my best friend, the place that I wrote everything in, the one thing I could talk to when I was alone. After discovering the notebook, I cried and closed my eyes and I wrote this prayer: “Jesus, please hold me tight and protect me until my mommy and daddy find me. Amen.” I would say that little prayer every day for the next twelve years.

 

The search for Becky was reaching two and a half hours when we finally got our first lead. One of the neighbors came out and told us that she had seen a black car, with all the windows tinted, drive up and down the street, several times. She, unfortunately, didn’t think about taking note of the license plate. But we at least had something to go on, and a place to start, even if it wasn’t much. After getting that from the neighbor, we brought it straight to the media, so people could keep a lookout for a black car with all tinted windows. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much more Lewis and I could do at the scene, so it was back to the station we went to continue our work there, and just hope for new leads.

 

I sat in the shed, crying, for most of the day. Darian brought me lunch, and then later at night, brought me supper and some pajamas. Where did I go to the bathroom? You make ask. Darian had a commode in the shed for me to use that he emptied whenever he came in.

That first night was the hardest, I was so afraid, that every time I fell asleep, I had a nightmare that woke me up. Halfway through the night, I decided to open the toy box to see if there was anything in there that would help me sleep. It was in that toy box that I found my other best friend. It was a big, floppy, stuffed kitty that was black and white, and reminded me of my cat, Cookie. So, I also called that stuffed animal Cookie. That stuffed kitty helped me to feel more at peace, and I was finally able to sleep.

 

I spent a lot of sleepless nights trying to find Becky, but that first night was by far, the worst. So many haunting images were going through my mind of what was being done to that innocent little girl. And the fact that I was combing through lists of sex offenders and child molesters wasn’t helping, either. I kept looking at Becky’s picture and I began to get so overwhelmed with disturbing images that I started to cry and I looked at the picture and said, “I will find you, Becky, I will bring you home to your mom and dad, and I won’t stop searching until I do!”

 

One week had gone by, and nothing different happened, not until at night. Darian brought me supper as usual, but this time he stayed and ate with me. He began to talk to me as if we were best friends and told me all kinds of things, most of it my eight-year-old brain didn’t even understand. After we ate, he asked me if I liked to dance. I told him yes, afraid of what he would do if I said no. He smiled and stood up, and then he walked over to me and picked me up, and forced me to dance with him. As we danced, I remember briefly thinking it was actually fun, until he started to kiss me. I told him I didn’t want kisses, and that immediately made him mad. He then threw me onto the bed, like a ragdoll, and he began to take off his clothes. I closed my eyes and huddled up in fear. He then came back to me and started to rip my clothes off. I screamed and tried to fight him off, but he was strong and held onto me tight, and once he got my clothes off, he began to feel me, touch me, and kiss me all over. Being only eight-years-old, I had no idea what he was doing to me. I just remember being in pain and I will never forget the feeling of his bare skin hitting mine and sending a chill throughout my whole body. I cried and screamed and begged him to stop, but he wouldn’t. When I had no more energy to fight, I completely stopped and it wasn’t too much longer and Darian stopped, too.

He got off me, put his clothes on, and then left me alone. I was so frightened by the experience that all I did that whole night was in shiver in my bed, naked, and cry. I couldn’t sleep, because when I closed my eyes, the horrifying experience would start all over again. I grabbed Cookie, and my journal and I wrote how he hurt me and how I wanted my mommy and daddy. I once again prayed, “Jesus, hold me tight and protect me until my mommy and daddy find me,” but before I could say amen, I suddenly felt warmth, like someone was hugging me. I then relaxed, and said “thank-you Jesus” then I managed to, finally, fall asleep.

By the end of the first week of the search for Becky, we still had no new leads. The trail went cold, and our last thought was being put into action. We called Becky’s family and asked if they would be willing to plea for their daughters safe return home to the media. We explained to them that it could bring someone forward with new information, and that it was our only option at that moment. They agreed to it, just wanting to do anything to get their daughter home safely.

Lewis and I then drove over to their home, bringing a couple news reporters with us. Once we arrived, the cameras got set up by the news crews, while we talked with the parents. “Just let people know the pain you are feeling right now, and let them know that you just want your little girl back”. They understood, and then the cameras began to roll, and so did the tears as the family spoke.

Becky’s dad started, “Hi, we are the Jenson family, the family of little eight-year-old Rebecca Jenson, also known as Becky. Becky was abducted a week ago, and we are so frightened for her life, and we want her home. I want to just hold my little girl tight in my arms, I want to hear her laugh when we have tickle fights, and I want to hear say ‘I love you daddy’ to me as she drifts off to sleep”. Then her mom spoke, “As her mother, I am always setting her a place at the dinner table, and right now that spot is empty, and all I do is cry when I look at it. Out of habit, I go to her room to get her up in the morning, and when I see the empty bed, I cry. I want to see her smile; I want to be able to comb out her beautiful hair, again. I want my baby back more than anything. So, please, if you have any information at all, please call the police department and tell them. We want to hold our baby again.” Then it ended with the little sister saying, “I love you sissy! Come home please!”

By the time the session was over, everyone in the room was crying, which was a sign that it was a good, powerful broadcast. And as me and Lewis drove back to the station, I silently prayed and begged God to keep that little girl safe until we found her and brought her home to her family.

 

Time went by, day after day. Darian would come in and bring me meals, and a couple nights a week, he would stick around at night to “hurt me” as I always put it in my journal. I remember having days where I would think about my friends, and school, and imagining what they were doing and what they were learning. I longed so much for the interaction of other people. Just to see smiles and happiness in their faces, and to be able to talk with them. I also was desperate to learn new things, as I hated being stuck with the knowledge of an eight-year-old that barely started the third grade. But even more than all of that, I longed to see my family again. To play with Courtney and give her a hug, and tell her I love her, and to hear her squeaky little laugh as we goofed off. I wanted to hug my mom and smell her sweet vanilla perfume and feel her squeeze me tight and give me lots of kisses. I wanted to be scooped up into my daddy’s arms and thrown into the air and caught again, and to hear his deep, joyful laugh as we had tickle fights. I wanted to smell my mom’s homemade cooking and feel the comfort of my own bed with my pets snuggled up next to me. I wanted to be home and I wanted to feel happiness again.

I wrote a lot of prayers to God that sounded like this: “God, can you please make me happy again? I don’t want to be scared anymore. God, can I just be Becky and not Tessa? God, please let my mommy and daddy find me! Amen.” Looking back, those little prayers are what kept me going. Those little prayers gave me hope, and also gave me someone to talk to. I felt safest when I wrote my prayers, because those were the moments that God would just hold me and make me feel comfortable, and remind me that He was always there and He never left me, not even for a second.

 

Four years went by since little Becky had gone missing. I was given other cases to work on, but at the end of the day, I would find myself back on her case, combing through the very little evidence we had. Her parents never gave up the fight, either. They called me periodically for updates, and most of the time I replied, sadly, with nothing new. My heart ached constantly over the thought of that little girl and all she had to have been going through. I found myself getting burning hot with rage whenever someone would give me a new lead that led nowhere. Becky’s image haunted me in my dreams and kept me awake at night. The thought of her now being a twelve-year-old girl, possibly going through puberty, made me shiver with fear at how she could be handling it and if she was being taken care of.

Lewis constantly kept my mind busy, to keep me from thinking about it too much, but, part of me always was hurting, not only for her, but her family. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the kind of pain they felt every single day. I could just see in their faces that life was painful, and they, too, were spending many sleepless nights hoping for their daughter and sister to come home. Every night, I prayed not only for Becky and her safety, but for her family, for them to find moments of peace and happiness in their lives.

 

I was twelve-years-old, and I had been living in Darian’s shed for four years. I was using the commode, and I noticed that there was blood in my underwear. I didn’t understand what was going on and I was very scared that something was wrong. I was afraid to leave the commode, and I sat there until Darian came and brought me lunch. I told him I was peeing blood and needed a doctor, but he laughed and then began to explain to me what was really going on. “No, Tessa, nothing is wrong, you have just started your period and are going through puberty.” I was confused, but I listened to him intently as he taught me all about the changes my body was going through. I was thirsty for new knowledge, so learning about puberty was actually interesting for me, and I liked it.

Later that day, he came back with some new things for me like: pads, tampons, a razor, a few bras, and also a book for me to read about puberty. After he left, I put a pad on my underwear and then grabbed the book and began to read through it. I cried as I read it, feeling a mixture of emotions. I was confused by it all and struggled to fully comprehend the things the book tried to tell me. I was excited to be learning something new and I was also overwhelmed with sadness, knowing that my mom should have been the one to explain it all to me and not some guy who kidnapped me and a silly old book.

Then, just a few short months later, on the day of my thirteenth birthday, I was educated, yet again, on something that I wish my parents could have talked to me about. When Darian walked in that morning, I was hoping for something nice for my birthday, but instead he had a small grocery bag in his hand and a look on his face that I had never seen before. He seemed almost nervous and scared, but yet a little bit excited. He sat me down on my bed, and then he sat down next to me and took a deep breath before he began to speak. “Tessa, I have noticed that you didn’t get your period this month and I think I know why.” I sat there, stunned and afraid; I didn’t even notice that I had missed my period. “Tessa, I think you might be pregnant, as in I think you are going to have a baby!” I felt overwhelmed and was not sure how to process that information, and finally I asked him, “But I thought only married people could have babies, how is it that I could have a baby?” He then reached into his bag, and responded, “Before I explain, I want you to take this pregnancy test so we can be sure.” He pulled out a stick and told me I had to pee on it, and it would tell me whether or not I was pregnant. So, I took the stick out of his hand and went to the commode, and sat down and peed on the stick just like he told me too. He watched me the whole time and when I was done he took the stick from me while I cleaned up a little. I then went and sat back down next to him, and looked at his face beaming with a Cheshire cat smile.  He then looked up at me and said, “Congratulations Tessa, you are going to be a mommy” and that’s when I looked at the stick and saw a little pink plus sign, meaning it was, indeed, positive.

Darian then explained to me what sex was and that when he came in late at night and “hurt me” that is what we were doing and that is how I got pregnant. He then gave me two new books to read, one was about sex and what it was, and the other one was all about pregnancy. He then wished me a happy birthday, cleaned out the commode, and then left me. I just sat there in my bed and sobbed uncontrollably, holding my stomach. I was not only afraid to have a baby, but I was afraid for the baby and of what Darian would do to it. On top of the feelings of fear, I was feeling violated and hurt, now that I understood what it was Darian was doing to me. But, I decided that I was going to do all I could for the baby and protect it and love it with all of my heart. So, I took the books Darian gave me and I read them to educate myself the best I could.

For the next nine months, Darian brought me all kinds of books on pregnancy and childbirth and he also gave me prenatal vitamins and made sure I ate healthy. Obviously, he wanted the baby to be healthy as much as I did. And on October 3, 1998 I woke up at 1:00am feeling some pretty strong contractions, putting the pain at a five on a pain scale of one to ten. Darian was in bed, and I had no way to reach him. I was scared, but I decided it would be best for me to just lie down on my side in bed and try to relax. The pain grabbed at my stomach, they were some of the worst cramps I had ever felt. I tried to take deep breaths and relax the best I could, but it was hard. I cried and prayed for God to protect me and the baby. At 6:00am I heard a “pop” and lots of clear fluid gushed out of me. My water had broken. And then I started to feel the contractions intensify and become even stronger. The pain was a ten on a scale of one to ten and I began to cry and scream with the contractions. Not only that, I was feeling a ton of pressure on my bottom. My pants and underwear were soaked, so I took them off, and it wasn’t long before I started to feel the urge to push. I sat up in my bed and got on my hands and knees to try to relieve the pressure, and as soon as a contraction hit, I began to feel my body push, and the urge overwhelmed me and I pushed right along with my body.

The pain I started to feel as the baby’s head emerged was by far the worst pain I felt in my entire life. The burning was so bad; I felt as if I was being torn into two pieces. I cried and screamed, just wanting for it to be over. And after forty minutes of pushing, the baby’s head was finally out and I took some deep breaths and as soon as the next contraction came, I pushed with all my might, and with one final intense burning sensation, the baby slid out of me and onto the bed at 6:43am. I quickly leaned back and sat on the bed and all I could do was cry. I looked at the tiny baby lying on my bed in a puddle of amniotic fluid and continued to cry as I noticed it was a girl. I picked her up and held her tight in my arms, crying and listening to her crying.

A few minutes later, Darian came in and saw me sitting there with a baby in my arms. He quickly ran back out and returned with a bag full of supplies. He first cut her umbilical cord, and then he took her from me and wrapped her in a blanket, and placed her inside a bassinet that he had set up in the shed a week earlier. Darian then came back to me and helped me out of the bed and placed me onto the commode. He told me I had to push out the placenta while he cleaned up the mess on my bed. I was still having some light contractions, so I obeyed him and pushed when I felt the contractions. After just a few pushes, I felt another brief burning pain, and the placenta slid out of me and into the bucket of the commode. I continued to sit on the commode and cry, until Darian was done cleaning up the bed and putting fresh sheets on it. He then came over to me, got me all cleaned up, stuck a big pad in an underwear, helped me put it on, along with some pajama pants, then laid me back in bed. I felt so weak and tired, that no sooner did my head hit the pillow, I fell sound asleep.

It wasn’t until the following morning that I woke up after having given birth. Darian was the one who woke me up; because he wanted to make sure I was alright. “How are you feeling sweet heart?” Darian asked, “I’m really sore, but otherwise I’m okay, where is my baby?” I responded. Darian smiled and then walked over to the bassinet and picked up the tiny little girl and brought her over to me. “She weighs five pounds and six ounces and is fifteen and a half inches long and perfectly healthy”, he said to me happily. I smiled and held her close and took in all of her delicate features, from her light, soft hair to her cute little button nose and big loving eyes. I was in love, and decided that I was going to protect her from any and all harm. I then asked Darian if I could name her, and he told me as long as her middle name was Grace. So after thinking for a short time, I finally came up with a good name and looked up at Darian and said, “Brooklyn Grace” he smiled and told me it was perfect.

 

On the day of Becky’s fifteenth birthday, we released a computerized sketch of what she looked like now that she was seven years older. We reminded people that her family wanted her home and to call the police with any new leads. And, finally, we got a break through on the case.

We got a call from a store that told us they had a regular costumer that always claimed to be purchasing things for his wife and daughter, and had shown them pictures of his supposed daughter. I saw it as a good potential lead, and Lewis and I went and checked it out together.

When we arrived, the cashier welcomed us, had someone take over for her, and then brought us into the employee break room to talk. “Hello, officers, my name is Lucinda, I happen to be the store manager here and most of my time is spent running the cash register. I called you because we have this guy that comes in regularly and always is purchasing clothing for a female and also things like feminine products, and even baby supplies, but never has his wife or child with him.” Lewis got out his notepad to take notes while I began to ask questions. “Can you describe this man to us in full detail, Lucinda?” “Yes, he is tall, at least six feet, has an average build, not really muscular, but not really skinny, either. He has short, dark hair, slightly tan skin, brown eyes, and is clean shaven. He is always dressed nicely and is always very well put-together and friendly, almost like a businessman.” Lucinda replied to us, “I would offer you security footage, but all the footage he is in, he has his back turned.” Now that seemed suspicious and I finally felt like we were making a breakthrough in the case.

“Do you know his name, or address, or even know what his car looks like?” I asked, excitedly. “I have never seen his car, and I also do not know his name because he always pays in cash and never buys anything that requires an ID.” That made my heart sink a little, but I continued the questions. “You said on the phone that he always says he is purchasing things for his wife and daughter and that you had seen pictures. Can you tell us about that or do you have a copy of the pictures?” “He has never shown a picture of his wife, he just tells us that she is busy and that is why he is always getting stuff for her. But, his daughter is only a year and a half old, and he, actually, tells us that she looks just like his wife. He told us his daughters name is Brooklyn, and I don’t have a picture of her, but I could describe it to a sketch artist. The picture of his daughter has a lot of similarities to the aged photo of Becky that is why I called.” With that, we knew this was a definite solid lead, and Lucinda agreed not only to describe the picture of the man’s daughter to a sketch artist, but also the man who now became our suspect. Having this lead not only gave me hope, but it also gave Becky’s family a lot of hope, too.

 

On the day of Brooklyn’s second birthday, I found out I was pregnant, yet again. Darian was elated and told Brooklyn that she was going to be a big sister and got her excited. That is one thing I was very grateful to God about, Darian was very kind and loving to Brooklyn. He took good care of her, and always took her out of the shed whenever he wanted to abuse me. That was the only time she would be out of the shed, otherwise she always stayed in the shed with me. I would tell her stories about my parents, and Courtney, and our animals. I also would tell her about God and that He was protecting us and that one day He would help us to get to see my parents and sister again. I also taught her to pray, and together we always prayed for our health and safety, and that we would one day be found and brought home.

Then on May 23, 2001, while Darian was eating breakfast with us, my water broke. Darian took Brooklyn out of the shed, came back, and at 1:03pm, after enduring the same unbearable pain I endured with Brooklyn, a small six pound, sixteen inch long baby girl was born. Darian told me he wanted to use the name Rose somehow, and then I told him the name Bella Rose, and he liked it. A few hours later, he brought Brooklyn back in and she got to meet her new baby sister. And when Darian left the three of us alone that night to sleep, I cried and prayed to God to get me and the girls out of there and home so I wouldn’t have to endure the pain of childbirth, again.

 

With our huge lead, came other smaller leads. A lot of people came forward saying that they had seen the man, but never got his name. And some of them even told us they had seen the photograph of his daughter. We were able to figure out a lot of the places he would stop regularly, and that allowed us to narrow down a general area of where he, most likely, was living. Then, on May 24, 2001, we got a huge lead.

A small store that sold baby supplies called us and told us that the man we were looking for was just in buying things for a newborn daughter. They also told us that he was driving a black car with all tinted windows and they even were able to give us the license plate number. My heart was pounding, and the second I hung up the phone, Lewis agreed to take a couple officers to the store and get what they could from there while I looked up the license plate number and get what I could on our guy.

Once I punched the number into the computer, low and behold, a picture of our guy popped up on the screen, one Darian Traverse. We never could find a place of employment on the guy, and now I knew why. Darian was a millionaire that never worked because his millions were left to him by his parents when they died. He was an only child, and was thus left everything.  The only thing was the guy had no criminal record, just a reputation of being lonely, which I found in old school records on him. But nowhere could I find anything about him ever being married and having kids. This raised some red flags, so I wrote down his address and then met Lewis at the store, and then went to talk to this Darian guy.

When we knocked on door, he answered us with no problem and invited us in. “Mr. Traverse, we are investigating the disappearance of Rebecca Jenson and we have been getting told that you supposedly buy things for your wife and children a lot, but you never have them with you, not only that, we have no record of you being married and having children.” He immediately responded, “Well, I am not actually legally married to my wife; we just say that we are married without going through legalities. And as for my children, the oldest comes from a previous relationship and is not legally mine. The youngest was just born yesterday, so is not in the system yet, and even when she is put into the system she will put under her mother’s last name.” “And what is your wife’s name?” I asked, and again Darian responded, “Tessa Barnes”.

We then asked if we could have a look around, and he told us to go right ahead. We opened every door in the house and looked in every room and closet. When I looked in the backyard, I noticed a shed, and when I asked about it, he told me he never could find the key and that it was locked. To prove it I asked if I could try all the keys on his key ring on the lock. He handed me the key ring, and I tried all the keys in the lock, none worked. And I tried to listen for any sound coming from the shed, and heard nothing.

We left empty handed, but something told me that Darian was still our guy. And when we got back to the station I looked up his wife, and found information that collaborated with everything he told us. We even found a current record of her being in the hospital for childbirth. I still couldn’t help but think this was the guy; I just had to find more evidence. And I wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

 

I wasn’t going to give up without a fight. I was going to get me and my daughters out of there somehow. I was done just waiting, and I finally prayed for God to help me find a way to get us home. And the opportunity came in the summer of 2005.

While we were eating breakfast, I was looking at the newspaper that Darian was reading, and I saw an ad about the local county fair. That gave me the perfect idea. “Hey, Darian, can I ask you something?” “Sure, Tessa, what do you want?” “Well, you know, I am twenty-years-old now and I have not been out in twelve years, no one would recognize me, and the girls could use a day out to do something fun. So do you think we could go to the fair with girls?” He looked at me in shock, and he sat back in his chair and thought for a minute. And then he spoke, “I think that would be a good idea, and fun for the whole family, but only under one condition; you must stay by my side the entire time”. I agreed to his conditions and we planned our outing to the fair the following week on July 15, 2005. And the night before, I took a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote on it: “My name is Rebecca “Becky” Jenson, I was kidnapped by a man named Darian when I was eight-years-old and he forces me to go by the name Tessa. I am locked in a shed with my daughters, Brooklyn and Bella, please help us!” And the next day, I put my plan into action.

The first time stepping into sunlight in twelve years was wonderful. Tasting the fresh crisp air and feeling the gentle kiss of the warm sun on my skin was so magical. It was the best feeling in the world and I couldn’t wait to get to the fair. Once there, and we got out of the car and I saw all the people, I suddenly became overwhelmed and afraid of all the people. I had not had any contact with people in twelve years and I was not sure what I would say if someone approached me.

We went about the day and saw animals, let the girls go on rides, watched a couple shows, and then we decided to end our stay by getting something to eat. Darian had me and the girls sit at a nearby picnic table and he tied my ankle to it, so I couldn’t run off while he got in line at the food stand. I watched him closely to see how often he would turn to look at us. Then, I noticed a couple of police officers just walking around to keep an eye on things. They were heading our general direction and as soon as Darian started to order our food, they got close enough that I was able to tap one of them on the arm and get their attention. They turned to me and I quickly handed them my note and turned away from them, focusing on the girls. The policemen continued to stand there and soon Darian came back with the food and he asked the officers if there was anything wrong. They said no and walked away. That is when Darian decided it was time to leave and we could eat at home. So we packed up and went back to the shed, the whole time, I prayed that the letter would be enough to get us found.

 

On July 15, 2005 I got one of the best phone calls ever in my career as a detective. It was an officer calling from the fair grounds to say that he just received a note from Becky Jenson to come rescue her. I told him to stay where he was at, and I then hung up, got Lewis, and we left for the fairgrounds. When I got to where the officer was, he said that the girl who handed him the note looked just like the computerized updated photo of Becky. I took the note, and read it. No sooner did I get done reading it, I got on the phone with a judge to talk about an arrest warrant for Darian Traverse. With this new evidence, the judge didn’t have to think twice, he signed off on the warrant right away, and then we picked up the warrant and went back to the home of Darian Traverse.

When we got there, we knocked on the door, and when he answered, I got to say the words I have wanted to say since the case began, “Darian Traverse you are under arrest for the kidnapping of Becky Jenson!” Lewis strapped the cuffs on, read him his rights, and me and the other officers went to the shed, broke the lock and swung open the door. And that is when I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Because, huddled on a bed was, indeed, Becky Jenson and two young girls. “Becky, my name is Detective Kevin Carlysle, your safe now, I am here to bring you to your mom and dad and sister.” She then smiled, jumped up, and hugged me, crying tears of pure joy. After cutting shock collars off their ankles, we took the girls to a waiting ambulance. I told Becky that the ambulance was going to take her and the girls to the hospital to be looked at and that her parents and sister would meet her there. She smiled and nodded, and off they went in the ambulance, while I stayed behind to help process the scene, one of the most gut wrenching tasks of my career. Especially since I knew that anything we found was going to go along with making Darian also guilty of sexual abuse and child endangerment. The tears ran down my face as the images of Becky’s pain and torture raced through my mind.

 

When we were finally found by the police, I was so overwhelmed with joy and happiness that all I could was hug the detective and cry. God answered my prayers, and I was going to see my family again. The whole way to the hospital I was telling my girls that were going to find their grandma and grandpa and Auntie Courtney. I also told them not to be afraid of the doctors because they were just going to check them over to make sure they were okay.

When we got to the hospital the doctors and nurses asked me a ton of questions, and I answered each of them, telling them my story of the past twelve years of my life and Brooklyn’s six, going on seven years of life, and Bella’s four years of life. After a whole battery of tests, I and the girls were left to rest. And it was only a couple of hours later that detective Carlysle came in with good news that the doctors found I was completely healthy and so were the girls. And then, behind him, came in three people I had been longing to see for twelve years. My mom, dad, and my little sister Courtney came in, looking teary eyed.

As soon as I saw them, all I could do was smile and stare. The tears began to well up in my eyes and the memories began to race through my mind. And after just a few brief moments, I spoke: “Mom, Dad, Courtney, it’s me, it’s Becky!” The next moment, I was feeling the warm, comforting, loving embrace of my family hugging me. A feeling I had been aching for, for the last twelve years, and it made me burst out in tears and all I could say was how much I loved them.

After hugging, I told them to catch me up on everything and that I wanted to know everything. Mom and dad told me they were doing the same old, same old, and Courtney raved how she just got her driver’s license, that she is a straight “A” student and is playing volleyball on the varsity team. They also told me that my bedroom was still the same and Bear, Cookie, and Chip were all waiting for me to come home as well.

After they got done with catching me up on everything, they went silent for a moment, looked at each other, then looked back at me. My mom then spoke, her voice shaking just ever so slightly, “w-what about you honey? W-w-what did that man do to you?” I looked down; trying to hold back tears, then took a breath, and looked back up at my family’s curious and fearful faces. “Well, let me start from the beginning.”

 

Turning over that shed where Becky remained a prisoner for twelve years, made my heart ache and made me burn with anger. The CSI’s found a lot of bodily fluid in the bed, along with some small blood stains. There was evidence found of childbirth having occurred at some point, and the commode was enough to make you want to gag. But the most gut wrenching piece of evidence, was a journal that Becky had written everything in. There were prayers, cries for help, and just some plain journal entries that were, obviously, Becky’s way of telling her story and what was happening. I cried as I read through the journal, and even had to step outside to vomit once. It was a terrifying story of a little girl’s pain, pain that was solely caused by, one, evil man.

After getting done at the crime scene, I went to the Jenson house, and gave them the happiest news of their lives, Becky was found, alive. They all burst into tears of joy and immediately asked for me to bring them to her. So, they piled into my car and off we were to the hospital.

On arrival, we went up to Becky’s floor, where I first got all the information I needed from the doctor, and then returned to the family. “All right, the doctor said that Becky is completely healthy, but they are going to keep her overnight for observation to be sure. And, before we go in, you guys should know that Becky was raped and dealt with sexual abuse. She also went through childbirth, twice. She has been traumatized and will need therapy to help her deal with it; she will also need your total love and support. So, now with that in mind, let’s go see her.” They all nodded and I led them inside Becky’s room where I witnessed a beautiful, heartfelt reunion. The love, joy, and happiness were so abundant in that room, that even I began to cry along with them.

Then, came the moment of truth, the family asked Becky what happened to her. After she collected herself, Becky began to tell her story from start to finish. I pulled out my camcorder and taped her telling the story for later use in court. Becky told how she was raped night after night, how she had to be educated on puberty, sex, pregnancy, and childbirth by a total stranger. She also told the horrific stories of having to endure painful childbirth at the ages of thirteen and fifteen and trying to raise them. But, what really got me was when she said that through the whole experience, she relied on God to protect her and return her home. She said that she felt that God always had his hands on her shoulders, reassuring her that everything would be okay.

That got me thinking, I prayed a lot to God to keep Becky safe and bring her home, but I never really felt that he was actually doing it; and at that moment, I realized he was protecting her and just waiting for the right moment for us to find her. At that moment, I felt as if God was patting me on the back, and I collapsed on the floor, on my knees, and looked up to heaven and thanked God. I thanked him for protecting Becky, for helping us find her, for helping me and giving me the strength to never give up on the investigation, and I thanked him for this glorious moment of a happy reunion and for showing me how almighty he truly is.

 

Seeing the pain and horror on my family’s faces as I told my story made me realized, even more, how real the situation was. But it also made me realize how thankful I was to God for hearing out my prayers that at least my family didn’t have to go through the pain of dealing with my death. It also made me realize that Brooklyn and Bella were my gifts from God to love and cherish out of the whole ordeal, and that they were the reason I had to endure what I endured, which made me feel a little more at peace. Not only that, I could tell my faith in God restored my family’s faith and strengthened it. Not only that, I witnessed Detective Carlysle drop on his knees praising God, so I knew my story inspired him, too.

So, I waved Detective Carlysle over to me, and he got up and walked right up. I took his hands into mine, and I looked right at him and said: “Detective Carlysle, if it wasn’t for you, I would have never been found. You never gave up looking for me, and God used your skills to do something wonderful for all of us. I can’t thank-you enough, so thank-you a million times over; you’re a great man of God.” With that, I gave him a huge hug, which my family joined in on.

 

Becky’s words to me were the most heartfelt words I could have heard. All I could say was, “Your welcome”, and hug her, and cry tears of joy.

 

After all that, I got to introduce my family and Detective Carlysle to Brooklyn and Bella, and vice versa; and what then? Well, I went home with my girls the following day to my true home. With all the evidence against him, Darian confessed to everything, even creating my fake identity to trick the police into thinking I was his wife, and was sentenced to death for all he had done, and I continued my life.

To this day, I continue therapy to help deal with trauma, but most of all I use my faith in God. Detective Carlysle is like a second father to me and my daughters and has helped me so much in life. I have since gotten my GED, and have gone to college and have become a detective, myself. I also have my own home where I live with my two beautiful daughters, who are growing happy and healthy, also attending therapy to help them cope with how their lives began. I thank God every single day for how far I have come and where I am at. And, I couldn’t be happier and more blessed than I am now!

 

                                                                                THE END

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Hopefully Something New Soon!! Sorry for being a blogging failure!

Hey folks!! Well...I think we can all safely say that I am really bad at keeping up on this blog and putting things on here for you guys to read. It has been WAAAY too long since I last put a post on here! I apologize profusely for that, guys, I really do! I will admit life has kind of gotten away from me and I haven't been so focused on my writing lately. BUT I am currently working on a new story that I am hoping to post when I get done with it. It could be a little while, but we will see! Just kind of taking life one day at a time! Thanks everyone!
~Tori

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Savior Trumps Suffering

Hey everyone!! So I know it has been a REALLY long time since I last posted something! I apologize for that!! I will admit I got a little bit lazy with my writing for awhile and also had some writers block! But...I now have something that I just wrote recently that God put on my heart and I want to share with you guys! I am going to tell you now, that there is one little story about something that occurred in my life that I wrote about and I have it in much more detail in my original version, but because I am putting this online I am editing it to make it sound much more generic just because the story involves a lot more people than just me and I don't want to hurt any feelings or anything! It is PARAGRAPH 8 that is the changed up paragraph! So....here it is...I hope you enjoy it!! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK!! Thank-you!!

                                                                    Savior Trumps Suffering
We see suffering every day. In the news when we hear about people losing everything to some disaster or that someone lost a loved one too soon. We see it in commercials on TV when they flash images of kids orphaned by AIDS in Africa. We hear it when hospitals try to raise money for cancer research to save the lives of those with the terrible disease. We even experience it first hand when we go through struggles with work, family, friends, and school. Suffering is everywhere and happens to everybody. We just have to know where to turn when it happens. And that place, is to God and His word.

The first question asked by people when they suffer is “why?” People always want to know why it is that these things happen to them. Well, there is no real answer, except that God knows and God has a plan through it all, and that plan is only understood by Him. His plan is beyond our own understanding, so we just have to trust Him because He knows what He is doing. God even tells Job, who had just lost everything and suffered a great deal, “Trust me. I know what I am doing.”

                There is another thing people tend to do when they suffer, and that is blame God. And what they need to realize is that it is never God’s fault, it is Satan’s. When we give ourselves to God, Satan’s automatic reaction is to attack us to get us to turn away from God. Satan throws suffering our way, and that is when we have to show Satan that he can’t bring us down because we have God on our side. We also have to remember that Satan can’t do anything to us, without God’s permission. Just like Satan had to ask God for permission to do the things he did to Job in the Bible. And if he gets God’s permission, it means that God wants us to look to Him and trust Him even more and that he has a big plan to come from it. To prove it, I will use examples from my own life and from the Bible.

                First example from the Bible is from John chapter 9. It is in verses 1-12 that there is the story of the blind man. In verse 2 the disciples ask Jesus if the man was born blind “because of his own sin or the sin of his parents”. Jesus replied, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (verse 3). Or in other words, the man was born blind so others could see his faith in Jesus and witness him being healed by Jesus to bring them closer to God and make them believe. I have a story of my own that kind of did the same thing for me and my family.

                When I was in the eighth grade, I got a blood clot in my right lung. This was after I had gone through a time of being depressed about being overweight. So when I got the blood clot, it made me lose faith in God completely. I honestly thought that He didn’t care and that He hated me. That was until my mom came to a realization after I had been in the hospital for several days. She told me to think back on the events of the day I went into the hospital. So I did, and I came to the same realization that she did. On the day I went into the hospital, my siblings and I were supposed to have been in school, my parents were supposed to have both been at work, and I was supposed to have had choreography practice for the school musical I was in. But, that day was a snow day, so there was no school and no after school activities. My mom also ended up getting put on call, meaning she was home that day, too. On top of that, when my mom got the call from my doctor that I had to go to the hospital, I was just about to go sledding with my siblings. If none of that would have happened, I wouldn’t be alive today. And when I realized that, I realized that God did really love me and care about me. It also made me and the rest of my family realize how powerful God is and that he works in mysterious ways. It, in turn, brought us closer to God just like the story of the blind man being healed.

                So, the lesson from both the story of the blind man, and my blood clot story is that God sometimes uses suffering to bring people closer to Him and help them grow more in their faith. So, in a time of suffering, take a look at the big picture and ask, “Is there something that God is trying to teach me or to show me to bring me closer to Him?” There just might be, and if not, there are two more stories I have that give another way God uses suffering.

                In the story of Joseph, God had him suffer at the hand of his brothers so he could come to power in Egypt and save people’s lives. Genesis 50:20 says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” This verse is Joseph reassuring his brothers that he won’t kill them for selling him to slave-traders because God used this bad situation to bring him to a high position in Egypt, which allowed him to invite 70 people in his extended family to come down and weather out a seven-year drought that was scorching Israel. Again, I had a similar thing happen to me.

                It was my senior year of High School. I had just begun an after school activity I was involved in. The first night was in January shortly after the first of the year, and I was very excited for my final year of doing this activity in High School. I went to that first night, just to find out I got left out of my group I was in for this activity. I was very upset, and along with the help of my friends, I worked to find a way to be able to still participate as much as possible. But everything I tried to do seemed to be the wrong thing in the eyes of my instructor. It got to the point where my instructor kicked me out altogether. And after a lot of prayer, I decided to refuse to let that stop me and I participted anyway on the final night I was able to participate. My Instructor ended up assaulting me and my partner, trying to stop me in a way I never imagined she would. Through the whole thing I kept my trust in God and I just gave it all to Him and told him to take control and do what He thought was best, and in the end, it came out good. We pressed charges on my instructor for assaulting me, and she plead out to Disorderly Conduct. She also has been fired from being an Instructor. So now, no one else can ever be hurt by her again, and what happened to me will never happen to anyone else.

                So, it is the same story with me and Joseph. God allowed Satan to attack us to prevent bad things from happening to other people. Also, we both defeated Satan and kept our trust and faith in God every step of the way. So the other thing to remember when suffering is that maybe God is using it to prevent something bad and turn it into good.

                Another thing to remember with suffering is it is an earthly thing and is only temporary. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day. We have small troubles for a while now, but they are helping us gain an eternal glory that is much greater than the troubles. We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever.” In other words, these verses tell us that every day we grow stronger in our faith and that the struggles we go through will only last a short time. We have to take our focus off of the visible struggles and think about the future we have coming to us in heaven that is not visible. Because that promise to us that as long as we have God in our hearts and have faith in Him we will end up in heaven with Him, is forever. It actually reminds me of a song by country artist, Carrie Underwood, called “Temporary Home”. That song basically says that our home here on Earth is temporary and that we should not let suffering get to us but, instead, enjoy life. Because our forever home is in heaven with God and that is where we belong. So basically, don’t let the suffering even bother you, because it is only temporary. Instead, enjoy life and spread God’s love to others.

                Remember when I mentioned that we see suffering every single day? Well, do something about it. Show God’s love to those that are suffering and defeat Satan and make him let go of the person he is making suffer. Do things like go on mission trips, donate money or belongings, comfort those who need comforting, volunteer for different things, and just show people the love that God showed us. In doing this you are letting go of your own struggles and living your life to the fullest to glorify God. Suffering does not control you, God controls you.

                In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it talks about God not allowing you to ever be tempted beyond what you can bare and that he will always provide a way out. I also believe that the same thing goes for suffering. I believe that God will not allow you to suffer beyond what you can bare. Remember that I said Satan has to get permission from God to put suffering in your life? Well, I don’t believe that God would give Satan permission to do it if He knew you couldn’t handle it. It may feel like you can’t handle it at the time it’s happening, but that is when you turn to God in prayer and trust Him through it.

                That brings me to my next point. You are never alone when you suffer and God never intended for you to go through suffering alone. God intended for times of suffering to be the prime time for you to put your trust in Him and let Him guide you. Luke 18:27 says, “’No chance at all,’ Jesus said, ‘if you think you can pull it off by yourself, every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.’” This verse says that there is no way you can get through suffering on your own. But, you can get through it if you trust God. The impossible becomes possible with a faith and trust in God. Just go to God and give it all up to Him and He will guide you and get you out of it. He has a plan for it all, just trust Him. Remember that God says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This means that even though you may suffer, God will not harm you because he has plans for you and knows the things you are needed to do for Him and for others.

                So all in all, I guess I am trying to tell you to not dwell on your suffering. Most likely God is just trying to teach you some lessons to help you grow in your faith, or he is trying to use you in a much bigger way than what you can see. You just have to trust God, because He knows what He is doing and He has a plan for it all. Also, God won’t let you go through anything that you can’t handle and you have to believe that. And remember that what you go through here on Earth is only temporary and that you have a much better and happier life awaiting you in heaven. So, while you are still here on earth, live life to the fullest and to glorify God. Do things to end the suffering you see around you and make the world a better place. It won’t always be easy, because Satan is always going to want to stop God’s work, but if you stay true to your faith in God, He will guide you through every step of the way. Anything is possible with God. Satan and suffering does NOT rule, God does! Remember that He gave His son for you, so He loves you and never leaves you. Keep your faith, stay strong, and trust God, and there is nothing you can’t handle. Our Savior always trumps suffering because He is bigger than that and when He returns it will all go away and there will only be happiness in heaven.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

"Be Thankful Every Day" The Story of the All Saints Camp(short story)


                When my youth pastor, Brian Crawford, announced we were going to the Bahamas for a mission trip, I was very excited. But, I had no idea what I was in store for. All I knew was that we were going to be doing construction for the people of the All Saints Camp in Nassau and that I was going to be flying for the first time. I had no idea how life changing this trip was going to be. So, let’s get into it, shall we?

                June 18, 2011, I woke up at about 8am to get ready and be to church by 9am. I scrambled, putting the last of my things into my bag, and getting ready to leave. My dad got home from work, and then I put my bags into his van, and we were off.

                On the way, all I could think about was the trip, and how excited I was. Then, my dad’s phone rang. I answered. I was my mom. She called me from work to tell me good-bye and that she loved me. I told her I loved her and then hung up after a good-bye. I held back tears, now thinking of leaving my family for a week, with no contact. I was feeling homesick already.

                Soon we got to my church and I loaded my bags onto the bus, and then waited for the rest of the group. We were a group of 11 students and 3 adults. The adults were my youth pastor, Brian, his sister Beth, and another youth leader named Amy. The students were: myself, Tasha, Allie, Andy, Christian, Dominic, Rudy, Nick, Mikey, Malachi, and Jacob.

                Once everyone had arrived, my church gathered into a circle and prayed for all of us as we got ready to leave. When we were done praying, I gave my dad a huge hug, holding back my tears to the best of my abilities, and telling him I loved him. Next, my Uncle Al came by and, once again, I held back tears and told him I loved him. We then climbed into the bus, and then began our adventure of a lifetime.

                We drove for about two hours to the city of Flint, where Brian’s in-laws lived. Our flight was an early morning flight from Detroit, and Flint was only an hour away. So, we decided to have a hangout day before leaving.

                We got settled in and then put on our swimsuits for some fun in the pool. We laughed and hung out together, already becoming a family. At 8pm that night, we climbed into bed in preparation for waking up at 2am to fly off.

                2am came faster than we thought it would, and it was time to rise and shine. I gathered up my things, the whole time thinking about the flight ahead. By 2:30am we were on our way to the Detroit airport, and by 3:30am, we were there. We pulled our things off the bus and walked into the airport. Just ahead of us, we stood in line, and got our bags checked in, and got our plane tickets. Then we went through security, made it through without any problems, and went off to our gate.

                As we sat and waited, I had fears rolling through my head about flying, unsure of what to expect. A few minutes later, we boarded the plan and went to our seats. Once seated, I buckled myself in, popped in some gum, and then waited. When the plan started to take off, Allie, Malachi, and I all held hands and chewed our gum nervously until the plane was in the air. After  a little while I had settled down, and relaxed, and fell asleep.

                Two and a half hours later, we came down for a landing, and I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that I survived my first flight, and it wasn’t all that bad. We now were in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and how had a three hour layover ahead of us. We put our bags down by our gate, and then decided to walk around. To our dismay, our terminal was very small, and had nothing but a Dunkin’ Doughnuts and a small burger joint. We then sat back down and start to play cards, lots of cards.

                Not too much later, we went and ate some lunch at the small burger joint, and then went back to our seats play yet, more cards. Our three hour layover turned into a five hour layover, because our plane got delayed. When the layover was finally over, we boarded our plane, and spent only about another twenty minutes in the air, filling out our customs papers. Finally, we landed in Nassau, Bahamas.

                We got off the plane and walked through a long, winding hallway, and entered into the 95 plus degree heat with 100% humidity. We went through customs, and then grabbed our bags and went outside. We were greeted by three of the Next Step Ministries staff: Becca, Sydnie, and Amelia. They greeted us with warm smiles and showed us out to our bus. Then we met our bus driver, Mr. Smith. He is a little on the short side, middle-aged, and just the most insane, crazy, energetic, and happy guy you will ever meet. He helped us load up our bags and then drove us to our home for the week.

                As we drove, I saw a lot of beautiful scenery and tried to get use to the fact that we were driving on the opposite side of road. After a short time, we made it to the retreat center, and were able to get settled in. We first went into a yellow building, this was the dorms. The guys were on one side, and the girls were on the other side.

                All of us ladies went and claimed our beds, made them up, and got settled into the intense heat. Not too much later, the group from Georgia came in from a trip to the beach. We were then introduced to: Joel, Misty, Lindsay, Leslie, Courtney, Whitney, Seth, Adam, Steven, and Ben. The adults were Joel and Misty, and the rest of them were all college aged kids. Once we met each other, it was time for dinner.

                We walked right over to another yellow building, which was the dining hall. It was just a small room with a tile floor and a bunch of tables and chairs. Once we all sat down, we got introduced to the rest of the staff: Tre, Heather, Barak, Rhys, and Maple. Once introduced, we prayed and ate dinner.

                After we were done eating, we went outside and played a game to help us get to know each other. After that, we went into the small, blue building, with air conditioning, for our official orientation. We watched a video, were given the rules, got introduced to Tim and Felicia(the missionaries of the All Saints Camp), and then were divided into groups. My group consisted of two Next Step staff: Rhys and Becca, two people from Georgia: Leslie and Steven, and then me, Amy, Andy, and Nick from my group. We were the group that was going to be working on building walls and siding for a house for a guy named Garvin. With that information set, we became team “Stud Muffins”.  After all of that, exhaustion set in, and we all went in and crashed in our beds.

                At 7am the next morning, Barak woke us up with some guitar playing and it was time to get ready for our first day of work. We got up, got dressed, and went off to breakfast. The entire time I was eating my breakfast, I couldn’t help but think of the day ahead of me and what it was going to be like.

                As soon as I was done eating, I washed my dishes and did my morning devotions. Then I put on sunscreen and filled my water bottle full with water, grabbed my gloves, and then we all boarded the bus with Mr. Smith. This was it, we were off to the All Saints Camp.

                I looked out the window and watched as the beautiful scenery rolled by then the scenery was, slowly, getting worse. Soon we pulled up to the All Saints Camp. As we climbed out of the bus, we looked around and saw crumbling walkways, houses falling apart and rotting, trash everywhere, and people living in it. The sight of the camp was enough to break my heart, and it gave me that little spark to want to get to work.

                We separated into our work groups, grabbed all of our supplies and our tools, and then walked down the left path to find our work site. We walked, still seeing the poor conditions of the camp, and then stopped at our site. Rhys showed us that the base of the cabin was already done, so that is why we were going to be doing the walls and siding.

                It was time to get started with the work. We set down our water bottles and then set up our tools. Part of that was plugging in the extension cord, and in order to do that we had to use one of the residents’ cabins. So, I went and knocked on the door of a cabin belonging to a woman named, Sophie. I asked her if I could plug in the cord and with a heartwarming smile she said, “Go right ahead honey”. I walked in and said hi, introduced myself, and then plugged the cord in and walked out to go begin work.

                I took a quick sip of water, slid on my gloves, and grabbed a hammer and some nails. Rhys set up the first wall and penciled everything up on the wood so we would align everything correctly. Then he showed us how to get the nails hammered properly, and then he let us get to it. Rhys made it look so easy, but we found out it wasn’t that easy. We kept bending our nails and then once we got nails in, we had to pull them back out because we forgot to make sure the studs were level and that the ends were flush, or lined up perfectly.

                After a lot of figuring, we worked out a system. We got into teams of two, one person did the hammering and the other made sure the studs were level and flush and held the boards in the right position for the person hammering. With the system in place, we got to doing some serious work, and soon we had the first wall completely put together.

                We took a water break and wiped off some sweat, then we lifted the wall up and held it while Rhys got it lined up and nailed a few nails down to keep it standing. Once we knew it was secure, we all grabbed hammers and nails and nailed the wall completely down so it was completely secure. By the time lunch hit, we had one wall completely standing, and the other wall set up to be ready to put together when we were done eating.

                We then went down to the “square” or the center of the camp, filled our water bottles, grabbed our lunches, and then sat in the shade. As we ate our PB&J’s, apples, and chips, we had our lunchtime devotions. This was basically a time for us to think about some stuff together as a group that would, later, fit into our lesson for the evening.

                Once we were done eating lunch, it was time to fill our water bottles and head back to work on the next wall. On our way back, I noticed Sophie was sitting outside, and it was the first time I got a good look at her, too. She was in a wheelchair and only had half a foot. On foot was completely amputated and the other was partially amputated. This is because of Sophie’s AIDs, and she lives like that and takes care of her nearly two-year-old daughter, Asia, who also has AIDs. I smiled and said “hi” and Sophie smiled her sweet motherly smile and said, “Hey there honey”. Sophie gave me a little bit of a kick with that, so then it was back to work.

                After building for a while, we stopped for a cool-down and Tre came by asking us about going to meet a couple of residents. Leslie, Andy, and I all said yes and then Tre took us to meet two of the residents. The first one we met was Miss Moxy, the woman I became closest to.

                We approached Miss Moxy’s cabin, and just a few minutes later stepped into an intense stench of urine. I looked around the room and noticed it was completely filthy and falling apart; but in the center of the tiny room was, Miss Moxy, sitting on her bed. She was thin and sickly looking, but she had the biggest smile on her face and had her arms up in the air, praising God for us coming to visit her. She just kept saying, “Amen”, “Praise God”, “thank-you Jesus”, and her most famous saying, “Sho Nuff”. All you could do was smile and join her in praising God.

                As we came in, Miss Moxy pulled out her Bible and devotional book called, Jesus Calling and told us about her having AIDS and being paralyzed from the waist down due to a hit and run accident. She just said she didn’t care because she still had life and people to care for her. We smiled and then began to read with her, and I told Miss Moxy I had the same devotional book, but I didn’t mention it was sitting on my shelf, collecting dust. She seemed happy and just handed me the book and I read it to her. As I read and she smiled, I just kept thinking to myself, “Why is she so happy? She has next to nothing and lives in awful conditions. I don’t get it.” But I kept reading until Tre told us we should move on. I said good-bye to Miss Moxy and told her I would see her the next day. Then we were off to meet another resident.

                We were brought to meet Garvin, the guy we were building the cabin for. Garvin is thirty-years-old and has cerebral palsy and is confined to his bed. He also lives in poor conditions, just like Miss Moxy. Another thing Garvin had in common with Miss Moxy, was his big, happy smile. He had a very cheerful disposition and loved God a lot, too.

                After talking with Garvin for a while, it was back to work. We continued to nail the wall together in the intense heat, taking water breaks every few minutes. Once we had the wall completely together, we decided to take a break to sit in the shade and cool down a little. When we did this, a small boy in run-down clothes came by an asked me my name. I smiled and responded. His whole face lit up and he responded, “Well hi Tori, I’m Glenroy and I’m six-years-old!” I giggled and continued to talk to him. Before I knew it, I had a new friend.

Glenroy took off when Rhys told us it was time to lift the wall, and I took one last swig of water and got up to help lift. We stood it up and nailed it down just like with the first wall. After the second wall was done, it was time to pack up. One everything was packed up, Mr. Smith arrived with the bus and we were off back to the retreat center.

Once at the retreat center, we peeled off our sweaty clothes, and took ice cold showers to help us cool down. By the time we were cleaned up and had fresh clothes on, it was time for dinner. After dinner, it was time to go to the chapel for a time of praise and worship. We started off in our work groups going over all the “God Moments” we experienced. Then we shared with everyone and then it was time to sing. We learned some fun, new songs and then Becca stood up and told us our lesson for that evening. After worship time was over, my youth group stayed in the coolness of the chapel to meet together as just us. During this time we broadened on our topic for the day, and did some of our own thing as well. When we had completed our youth group time, we were all exhausted and it was off to bed to get prepared for a new day.

The following morning came fast as we were woken up by the sound of Barak’s guitar playing, once again. We got dressed and to went breakfast. We ate, made our lunches, filled our water bottles, did morning devotions, got sunscreen on, then it was on the bus with Mr. Smith to head back to the All Saints Camp. This time, we brought a bag of toys along with us to give to the kids. So, before we began work, we handed out toys.

Glenroy came running up to me and I showed him what I had. He took two match-box cars and ran off. Then two of the little girl, Sasha, age five, and Coco, age six, each took toys as well. Both girls have AIDS but are so much and have so much to live for that you automatically fall in love with them. Once the toys were handed out, it was back to building Garvin’s cabin.

Rhys set up the wall for us, and we went to nailing it together while he went to cut up some pieces we needed for the last wall. The heat was intense, but God gave us a little bit of a spark by giving us a glorious three minute rain shower to cool us off. Then we were able to continue working and, by lunch, wall number three was up and nailed down and wall four was ready to be started on.

So we ate lunch, did devotions, and then went back to work. About halfway through working on the last wall, we all decided to sit in the shade and take a water break. So, I took the opportunity to visit Miss Moxy and read with her again. Glenroy also came to me and we raced his new match-box cars for a while. He beat every stinking time! Soon it was time to get back to work, and I got back in time to hammer a couple more nails and then help lift the wall and get it nailed into place. Once the wall was secure, we were done for the day and cleaned up our supplies and loaded back up with Mr. Smith.

Back at the retreat center we did just what we did the night before: showers, dinner, praise and worship, youth group time, and then off to bed for some much needed sleep. The next morning was the same old morning routine of breakfast, getting ready, doing devotions, and then heading out.

At the camp, we had to haul the big pieces of siding down to the cabin. They were really heavy, so we had to haul them one at a time. After many trips back and forth, I took a water break and raced cars with Glenroy a couple of times, and then it was time to nail the siding to the walls. The sound of hammers hitting nails rang through the camp as we pounded away, making sure the siding would stay.

By the time lunch rolled around, we had siding completely up on one of the walls. We went to our usual shady spot and ate our lunches while doing devotions. When we were done eating, we filled our water bottles and went back to work. In the middle of working, I made sure to take a break to go and visit Miss Moxy for a while, but then went right back to work.

At the end of the workday, we were surprised with a trip to the beach. We just went to a small, local beach to swim and relax after a long day of work. When we got there, I was amazed. The sand was as white as snow and the water a perfect, crystal clear, blue. It was also very refreshing to just jump in. We swam, laughed, and joked together in the water, taking in every little bit of God’s beauty. We also watched a stingray swim by and found a starfish.

After spending a couple of hours at the beach, it was back to the retreat center for dinner and praise and worship time. But on this night we did something different, we did a time of foot washing and praying for each other. During this time, I definitely felt a sense of Emanuel or “God with us”. The stars were shining bright and it was a still, warm night. And for a few short minutes, there was a down poor of rain, as if God was washing us clean just as we were washing each other. When we had finished the foot washing, just my youth group went back into the chapel and we talked together. Each of us students took a turn telling the one sin in our lives that keeps us from God the most. After we had told the sin, Brian gave us advice on how to change things for the better and get our focus back on God.

Now, I am not going to confess what I had said in this story because that is between me, God, and my youth group. But, I will say that Brian had told me that I am a strong, beautiful woman made in God’s image that is surrounded by people who love me. He also said that I needed to spend serious time in prayer with God for me to see that in myself and get my focus off of me and back on Him.

That night, I prayed and spent a lot of time tossing and turning over the things I was told. The next morning came fast and had gotten little sleep, but I was ready to finish off the work we had been doing all week and head back to the camp. So, after the usual morning routine, it was back to the All Saints Camp to finish putting the siding on Garvin’s house.

My work group started pounding away to get the siding put on as soon as we got there. We had stopped for a ten minute breather and water break when Glenroy came around with his cars and we raced together one last time. Then, Felicia, a missionary who works at the camp regularly, came by to ask for help in making sandwiches for the residents. I volunteered along with Amy and Andy to do that since we kind of wanted a break from hammering.

We went off to a little mission house right next to the camp where we made tuna sandwiches and cut up some water melon to give to the residents for lunch. When they were ready, we went to walk around the camp to hand out lunch to those residents who wanted it. This was a good way for us to see everything and meet everybody. Once the residents got their lunch, then we got to eat our lunch and do lunch devotions. When we were done eating it was back to Garvin’s house we went.

After working on Garvin’s house for a while, I stopped for a water break and checked to see what time it was. I realized we only had a couple hours left at the camp, and decided I wanted to spend the time visiting with those residents I became close to and saying goodbye to them. I asked if anyone wanted to walk around and say goodbye with me, and it was Allie who joined me.

Our first stop was to, obviously, visit with Miss Moxy. I walked into Miss Moxy’s small cabin and the first thing she did was throw her hands in the air and praise God for me and Allie visiting her. I gave her a hug and started to ask her about her devotions, but before I could say anything, she had her Jesus Calling book and her Bible out and ready for me to read. I sat beside her and read to her, and listened to her repeating the words “Yes Lord”, “Amen”, and “Sho-nuff” as I read. After we read her devotions and the Bible verses that went with it, she opened up to a couple more of her favorite Bible passages and had me read them to her. Again I sat and took in her joy as I read to her and praised God with her.

Allie then told me that she wanted to take a picture with Miss Moxy before we left, and went to get her camera. As I watched Allie walk out the door, I looked up at Miss Moxy’s doorway and saw a sign, just above it that read, “Be thankful every day”. When I saw that and then looked back down at Miss Moxy, it hit me. And by “it” I mean what it was I needed to really do to turn my life around. I realized at that moment, that if someone who lives in terrible conditions and has next to nothing, like Miss Moxy does, can be happy and praise God at all times for every little thing, then why can’t I? I realized that if I wanted to make things better, I had to become closer to God and actually feel close to him. I also realized that I need to be thankful for everything in my life, every single day and that I needed to praise God at all times. I also realized I had to learn to put my trust in God and go to him in prayer for everything and just talk with Him.

After realizing all this, Allie came back with her camera, Miss Moxy and I took a picture together, and then I turned to her and gave her another big hug and thanked her. Miss Moxy responded, “No. Thank-you, I did nothing.” I smiled and giggled a little, knowing that Miss Moxy did so much more for me than she even realized. After a couple more pictures and a good-bye, Allie and I were off to do some more visiting.

When we left Miss Moxy, we noticed Garvin was out in his wheel chair by the cabin we were working on for him. We went to say hi to him and he had the biggest grin on his face and kept saying “Thank-you” over and over again. We knew that he was happy with the house; it made us feel good to know we were playing such a huge part in his life.

After saying good-bye to Garvin, Malachi came up to me and Allie and said he wanted to introduce us to a resident named, James. So Allie and I followed Malachi to James’s cabin and found him sitting outside on his porch just hanging out. James is a middle aged man who has AIDS and also has some mental issues that come and go. While we were there, his mental issues were not present. James, like many of the other residents, had a passion for God. He also loved to talk about anything and everything. So that is what we did, we talked to him.

After talking to James for a long time and getting to know him, and letting him get to me, it was time for us to say goodbye so we could go help pack things up and leave. But before we left, James stopped me, held onto my hands, and said “Tori, you are an amazing young woman and I believe God has big plans for you”. It took every little bit of will power I had to not start crying, and I thanked him and told him I appreciated it. He then told me we needed to be “prayer pen-pals” which to him meant I would pray for him and he would pray for me. I told him I was more than willing to do that and then we said our good-byes and went to help pack up.

I went back to the cabin we were building for Garvin, helped with putting in the last couple of nails, and then helped pack everything up. On my way to the tool shed to bring some tools back, I said good-bye to Sophie and Asia and Asia gave me a big hug and Sophie thanked for all the work I did on the camp to make it a better place. I told her it was nothing and then said my final goodbye and brought the tools down to the tool shed. We then all piled onto the bus, leaving the All Saints Camp for the last time. But, we left knowing we made a difference in the lives on the residents. We gave them 43 feet of newly paved walkway, and 2 new cabins with walls and siding completed. We felt very accomplished and couldn’t have been happier with all of the work we did.

Back at the retreat center we did our usual nightly routine and did one final praise and worship time together. This time, we chipped pieces of wood off of a log and laid them before the cross, as a symbol of giving our burdens to Jesus. This was a powerful moment as it topped off an amazing four days of discovering myself as a Christian and finally just giving everything to Jesus and making the decision to follow him even closer and stronger than I ever had before. We ended the night singing a few songs and then went off to bed.

The next day was our fun day. We went to the straw market to do some shopping and then we went to the Atlantis resort where we swam at the beach and walked around the resort to see it and just spend a day having fun. After our fun day was done, we went back to the retreat center and went to bed. We left the following day, saying goodbye to a beautiful place and a lot of beautiful people that we became so close to. But, we left as new people who changed their lives forever.

Today, my Jesus Calling book is no longer collecting dust. I read it every day and also open up my Bible every day. I also spend a little time in prayer every single day and just talk with God. I also am thankful every day and live to glorify and praise God every day. I also have learned to trust God with everything in life and just put it all in his hands. I am now closer to God than I ever was before and wouldn’t change any of it for the world. That trip to Nassau, Bahamas was a life changing trip and I don’t think I will ever go on another trip as wonderful as that one was.